Crime Family Cheat Sheet

Curious about my multi-generational crime family, now in its third generation? Here’s a quick guide to the characters & goals of each generation so far!

First generation:

Rosita Hernandez started out as a government agent in Brindleton Bay, running low-level intelligence operations and living in a tiny little trailer.  She always had a taste for the high life, and a little bit of cash from treasonous information-selling was too much to resist.  When the choice of good v. villain arose, she didn’t hesitate in choosing the villainous path.

She assembled a crew:  hacker Chastity Belt, intern Todd McGoodbody, and scientist Dr. Claude Fairweather.  “Assembled” is a strong word re: Claude, since she initially kidnapped him in an effort to create a robot army.  Operation Robot Army failed, but Claude’s sudden feelings for Rosita made him a sadly temporary member of the crew in truth.

Their time together was brief and torrid, and ended up with Rosita catching Claude in her money vault, showering in HER hard-earned cash.  Back to kidnapped status he went, though by then, she was already pregnant with their child.

Eventually, Rosita rose through the ranks to Supreme Villain status.  She was known for her beauty, fitness, ruthlessness, and total thing for freeze rays.  Claude was freed in his later years to bond with his son and hang out with his good friend Todd Mc Goodbody.  When he passed away, Rosita replaced Claude with alien scientist Kurt Erious as the new “sciency” member of the team.

This whole generation is deceased, though the ghosts are very much active.

Second Generation:

Todd Jr. didn’t exactly have a stable childhood, what with his neglectful mom building robot armies and his scientist dad mostly kept in a locked room in the basement.  He wasn’t even named after his dad — Intern Todd ended up doing the bulk of childcare, so Todd Jr. he became.

Perhaps inevitably, Todd turned quickly to a life of crime.  His young adult years were spent both loathing his mom and craving her approval, while building a huge art scam crew (we call the crew club “Art Appreciation”) and spreading his DNA far and wide.  Todd has eleven children by four women, including two sets of twins with his wife Valerie.

Valerie and Todd’s marriage was arranged, given that they both came from prominent villain families.  Whatever positive feelings might have arisen between them were dashed by Todd’s constant infidelities, and now that the oldest twins are off to college, Todd and Valerie’s relationship is icy at best.  Valerie is romantically involved with the family’s long-time butler Pansy, while Todd has *publicly* cleaned up his act, given that he’s switched from mob crime to a life of politics.

Now that we’ve moved on (mostly) to the next generation, the three main adults raise a bunch of kids while seething in low-level dissatisfaction.  Fun!

Third Generation:

The oldest kids in Todd’s very large child pool are Claude Jr. and Claudette, his oldest twins with wife Valerie.  Claude Jr. and Claudette are the undisputed heirs of the family (not that Todd seems at ALL ready to give his daughter the reins).  To make sure the twins are prepared, their parents sent them to Foxbury U.

Claudette is cunning, bright, ruthless, a kleptomaniac with massive ambition.  She’s getting her distinguished degree in Villainy, of course — and when she’s done, it’ll be time for her dad to GO.  Claude is more physical, a hot-headed lunk who loves partying, soccer, and fighting.  Both of them have an A average, which is *inexplicable* given all the cheating.

We play Crime College on my Twitch channel every Monday morning from 9-11AM Pacific time.  Come join us!

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